Deathtrap #2

There were many deathtraps to even count around the property. But at the pool there were 2. The first one was the slide. The second one was the diving board. At first this thing was scary as hell. But once you learned to swim and the fear of drowning wore off, it turned out to be so much fun to jump off of. Remember me telling you I was fat. Well shit, so was my brother. His nickname in middle school was Marty Moose. We lived in Pennsylvania and no one had ever seen a Moose. But they knew one was big. In reality they are tall, skinny and big. My brother was none of these things. But the kid could create an amazing splash with his signature can opener or his amazing cannonball. If we weren’t swimming here, we were at our neighborhood pool splashing the hell out of all of the parents sitting nearby. We spent all day, every day, at a pool.

One day, I don’t know if it was him, me, cousin or an adult. But the diving board got super springy, so springy it broke. Yes, one of our fat asses broke it. Yes. Over the course of the next few years we broke not 1 but 2 diving boards. They never snapped in half but they would shift askew so the board came off the spring when you jumped off. I vaguely remember the entire board falling into the pool once. It was kind of scary knowing that this 200lb board was going to fall on you. And of course, It made splashing the parents a bit more difficult.